MIssing in Action? Not anymore!!

Hey to all my fellow friends and random readers such as "backside" aka stupid sonia ahahahha.

Well its a new year and im really sorry that this blog has TOOOOOOOOOOOO much spider webs and such... so... ok time to blog again i guess...

To start off with the new year, I am going to let u guys know something...

Me and Dear Dear

This is my Dearest and most precious person to me.. *See the ring?, Muahahaha*

This is Jo Ann, My one and only..

So people.. Ivan is no longer a fish in the deep sea, he has been caught by someone already.

Here are more pics~~~

Wearing Some Nerdy Glasses
*Somepeople said it was cute*

This pic is Caren,Me and Jo Ann in curve before Christmas.

This is picture is well.. Us in the Ice Bar. It was really cold inside until we need to wear jackets to go in.. Well guys, thats all the time I have for now.

Sort of need to go out now so when I come back i'll update more!!

Cheers~
Ivan.K

Dusty

Heh heh heh... I know my blog now plenty of dust already but hey.. Its not like I don't wanna update. Really cham (bad luck?) you know, I was updating the other day when my computer just suddenly turned off it self when I was almost done. So tau la, I write so long and suddenly off.. Want to continue also no mood already T.T

Anyway, brief update.

Now is exam time..

So its time to study Study STUDY!!!

It will be sometime before I actually get some more free time to blog about, I have tons of new pictures in my phone or in my computer just waiting to be blogged about.

So till then, Cheers~

Ivan.K

Be aware..

Ahh sorry guys, been busy lately..

Lots have happened and will be posted soon..

So be prepared xD

Bored..

I am so bored now..

Really thinking back all the good times "we" had..

Sometimes, it feels like its all a dream..

But the truth is..

Its REALITY..

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"Someone once told me that we all would fight now and laugh again the next day, that everything would be normal cause we all are friends.."

I really want to believe that.. But after seeing what happened the past few weeks.. I really am starting to doupt that..

I don't want to lose hope.. Save me..

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" A dim candle struggling.. In a windy cave.."

Dinner is served xD

Wahhhhhhhh Sehhhhhhhhhh WHAT A TIRING DAY!!!!!!!!!!!! I just finished cooking dinner for my family and gosh.. Its not easy xD Hahaha.
So lets start from the top and work my way down =)

So... I woke up this morning and like every normal person..

"Mom... 5 more minutes laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."
"I'll get ready for church soon.."

Ahahaha normal right? So I got ready "eventually" and left for church. Sunday service was like normal except Lifeline was having this err... Something acting like a statue while wearing a paper plate mask and holding a sign saying "Activate".. Seriously, creep me out a bit.. Anyways, after service I went to midvalley with my mom to buy the ingredients for tonights dinner.. Along the way though I met my friend Jolene and Benny and Jo's Sis.. Omg sia.. Benny so thin, and Jo's sis say I grew "more"... Argh.. Sad.. Pain.. And really wow, Benny's really fit now so.. I guess if he can do it, so can I..

So I went to midvalley and got all the stuff and the meat was the MOST expensive sia.. Australian tenderloins.. About 1.4kg.. Rm 80++ Ahh.. Im broke..

So back to business.. I got back home and started to do my mis-en-place early in the afternoon.. Wondering what am I cooking? Well I peeled potatoes, did butchering, and plenty more la..


This is the meat, I had like 2 of these 800g+ and 700g+

This is me "Slowly" portioning the meat and making the "butterfly" cut xD

After butchering the poor cow, I felt sad and then went on to skinning the potatoes and slicing them.. Muahahahahahahaha!!!! Since that was such a "wonderful" thing to do.. Which was so "not boring", I decided NOT to take pictures.. Ahaha..

After marinating the meat and peeling and slicing the potatoes.. I went and do some work, surf net and yada yada yada.. Till like 5.30pm..

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Around 5.30pm, I started to prepare everything like pots and pans, again mis-en-place for everything.. Im gonna la skip the whole process and just show you guys what I cooked ok?

You don't have a choice anyway!! XD *You guys might get bored..*

So before I reveal everything this is today's menu~~~

Menu Du'Jour~

Garden Salad

Served with poached egg and balsamic vinaigrette

Australian Tenderloin Steak

Served with potatoe gratin and Bernaise Sauce

Wine

Well.. Wine la, what else? xD

So this is what I cooked..

My wonderful potatoe graatin =)

Modified Bernaise sauce xD

Ahhh... Mouth watering..

Ok thats enough? Nah.. Here's the Real Thing xD

My actual Garden Salad but with 1000 Island sauce.. =x

My entree... Ahhh....

Lets not forget WINE xD

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So thats it boys and girls, ladies and gentleman~

Im so exhausted now.. Sitting in fromt of the com..

So till then, cheers~

Ivan.K

世界唯一的妳..

是你 第一眼我就認出來

這是命運最美麗的安排

是愛 讓你略過慢長等待

我們只要現在相愛 幸福就來

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恨我來不及參於你的過去

抱歉讓你等待

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我願意付出一切交換

我靈魂的另一半..

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這個世界唯一的你 是我擁有的奇績

對我說的一字一句 都是我們的秘密

緊緊擁抱唯一的你 無可救藥的堅定

就算世界與我為敵

我也願意 我什麼都願意

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看開過去所有的悲哀

都只是訓練我為妳 勇敢

真愛 照亮了漆黑的夜晚

尋找了彼此一輩子

再不分開

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恨我來不及參於你的過去

抱歉讓你等待

---------

我願意付出一切交換

我靈魂的另一半

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I will climb the highest mountain..
I will swim the deeper sea..

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對我說的一字一句 都是我們的秘密

緊緊擁抱唯一的你 無可救藥的堅定
就算世界與我為敵

我也願意 我什麼都願意

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我願意付出一切交換

我靈魂的另一半

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I will climb the highest mountain..
I will swim the deeper sea..

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就算要我上天下地

我什麼都願意為妳

緊緊擁抱唯一的你 無可救藥的堅定

就算世界與我為敵

我也願意 我什麼都願意

The world's one and only you..

Cheers,

Ivan.K

Ahhh Feel Good Day =)

Yesterday I watched The Mummy at TGV with Byron,David and Eunice. The movie was so-so la but the ending seriously sucked.. Though there was one person which was suppose to join us but last minute cancel.. Ahh Let it go la =)

Then.. TODAY!

Classes were at 9.30am and it was anology.. Gosh what a wonderful subject to have in the morning.. Haha.. After class though when I was about to join my friends to go to sunway pyramid, my dad called me. He was actually stuck somewhere near Giant Hypermarker there, apperantly his motorcycle chain snapped. So I rushed to pick him up and send him to his appointment. After that I sent my dad back home and left for pyramid.

We watched The Mummy, well so that makes it 2.. YES 2!! Hahaha It was okok la for the second time but I was kinda tired in the cinema but never found the chance to sleep.. Head not comfortable.. Haha, after the movie I went back home for dinner and chit chat with my bro and dad.

Around 10, I went out again to yam cha with a friend at Station 1.. Gosh I order "Ice Honey" she order "Carlsberg" hahaha soooooooooo other way round nia.. So we chit chat then went back home.. But as I reached her house, she started to cry.. I couldnt leave her like this so we went to the park near her house and just chit chat more.. However all this while, her sister and mother were worried sick about her cause you know la, its late at night and not back yet. So her mom was angry..

I told her to take a leap of faith and asked her to tell her mom that she is sorry.. She actually did it and she called me back later to tell me what happened.. Her mom actually cared for her all this time and now she realises it.. * Really proud of her *

Don't underestimate the word "sorry".. It makes hell or heaven a lot of diffrence when someone says it sincerely =)

Till next time, Cheers,
Ivan.K

My self..

Today was such a tiring day.. A lot of things happened today and its such a blur to me.. Lets start early in the morning.. I woke up in a daze, still struggling to cope with the changes.. I got to college and did my practicle. That indeed was really fun, we cooked steaks today and it wasnt that bad..

Then there came afternoon.. I guess everything is almost back to normal.. I missed my friends.. And thank you Cole for yesterdays talk.. I drew out public speaking today, I really just couldnt think of anything to write or speak let alone memorise it. Guess it was too soon and I wasnt prepared..

Today I learned that I am the type which pressure people.. I guess all this while, I really was.. And no one told me till I found out today.. Now that I know about it, Im sorry to everyone which ever i had pressured.. People change, and so will I.. But dissapointing things is.. Not telling me about this because they think it might hurt me.. But it hurts me more that you know about it and not telling me about it.. Friends should tell each other their weak points so they themselves can change for the better.. Not keeping it away from them and telling others..

But its all in the past, now that I finally know.. I will change for the better..
I am greatful that a few true friends always had stuck by my side and guided me to be a better person, for that thank you.

Before I end this, I would like to dedicate this one song to all the people who had stuck by my side thru think and thin.. Title.. "Only Human"

Kanashimi no mukou kishi ni
Hohoemi ga aru toiu yo

Kanashimi no mukou kishi ni
Hohoemi ga aru to iu yo
Tadori tsuku sono saki ni wa
Nani ga bokura wo matteru?

Nigeru tame ja naku yume ou tame ni
Tabi ni deta hazusa tooi natsu no ano hi

Ashita sae mieta nara tame iki mo nai kedo
Nagare ni sakarau fune no you ni
Ima wa mae he susume

Kurushimi no tsukita basho ni
Shiawase ga matsu toiu yo
Boku wa mada sagashite iru
Kisetsu hazure no himawari

Kobushi nigirishime asahi wo mateba
Akai tsume ato ni namida kirari ochiru

Kodoku ni mo nareta nara
Tsuki akari tayori ni
Hane naki tsubasa de tobi tatou
Motto mae he susume

Amagumo ga kireta nara
Nureta michi kagayaku
Yami dake ga oshiete kureru
Tsuyoi tsuyoi hikari
Tsuyoku mae he susume..

*I cant upload the song here, so its under my "music" area*

Today is a gift..

Change has already taken place and so far I am coping with it.. As far as I know, I have lost some friends and gained some friends too.. I dont really feel sad nor happy, I do feel lonely at college at times but i keep telling my self its all in my head. And recently I have been watching this one Japanese drama which my friend told me about.

The title is "1 litre of tears". Its based on a 15 year old girl with an incureable disease.. Its called Spinocerebellar degeneration disease.. The fact that this is a very cruel disease and there's no cure for it.. The degenerated cells in your spinal cord causes you to lose control of your arms and legs.. Your ability of speech.. Your ability to write.. And eventually.. Everything else.. Imagine this guys.. What if this happened to you?.. Because it was based on a diary of the actual person, it is very touching.. How when someone who already know they are dying but still strive on with life..

Honestly I even researched on this disease and even went through a few blogs which were the patients themselves.. I slowly read each entree they written and its really sad.. I actually cried reading a few post.. Its really sad..

As much as I want to know there is a cure for this.. There isn't.. I pray that 1 day, there will be and these people can smile once again and lead a happy normal life..

Till then, Cheers,
Ivan.K

Hope is all I will ever need =)

It actually happened the day before after I type all those negative stuff, didn't felt like saying anything until today I guess. And you know what? I take back somethings I said..

I was so blind that I couldnt see it even if it was right in front of me.. I always had the people that cared for me around me.. I was only blind.. but.. Now I finally see it..
Three people recently have changed the way I see things.. And I truly am grateful =) They truly made a diffrence in my life..

Firstly there was Wen Hwei, somehow she always has this charisma in her which makes everything seems not so bad.. She'd always try to convince me that there's more to life then all these issues.. I can't really explain it for now but she's kinda always there when I am like this.. I hope I could return the favour when the time comes too.. Whole heartedly, I will =)

Second is my close friend Caren, though we do not talk much but I see that we share a lot of things in common in life.. Like whatever she's been thru, im going thru it now and vice versa.. I really wonder how would my life be if I never had met her.. Terrible I guess.. She's actually the one which mention this one phrase to me which changed the way I see things.. I told her everything about what happened and she keep asking me not to give up on my friendship with Collie.. I told her I can't, as I'll be lying to my self..

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Then she said", Do you treasure this friendship?.."

"Honestly.. Yes.. I do..",I said.

"So just do it because you treasure your friendship.."

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This was the phrase which woke me up.. And now yes.. I have..

*So Collie, for our friendship.. This I will treasure..*

Last but certainly not the least is Desiree, the past few days have been rough and she's been softening my falls by listening and giving me advice.. Even "temaning" me when Im down but though sometimes it feels like Im "temaning" her.. Ahahaha jkjk~ Although today she gave me the shock of my life.. Om..God.. Lets say her driving skills were "wonderful" Hehe.. For the first time I guess, a girl picked me up from my home and we went out.. Ahaha but anyways, it was okok la.. Still safe in one piece =)

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So now I see, there are so many people in my life I should be thanking.. And even to the others I didn't mention.. Thank you for sticking by my side.. They really are a blessing to me and I do apreciate their presense and even more.. Their friendship..

^^

So I'll end todays entree with this..

"Apreciate the people around you.. Cause through thick and thin..

There're always there for you"

Cheers,

Ivan.K

Untitled..

A lot has happened the last few days.. It got me confused and lost.. But somethings just have to change for the better i guess.. I will miss the good old days.. Even now, I still do..

I regreted though what I did in the past, what you say?

It all began in Term 1 of my collage.. Everything was fine, I made tons of friends and was really happy with my group.. Everything was perfect.. Thats where my fatal mistake took place.. I never really had a "gang" or "group" which I belonged to.. I was hopping here and there which was wrong but i did still.. Now I actually get my punishment for doing so.. I feel very lost and lonely in collage now.. Everyday I just wish class would end asap.. Because of some issues.. I can't be close with a few certain people anymore.. What have I left?

Nothing..

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I used to had feelings for this one person in collage.. But I never really had the courage to tell her how I felt.. Pathetic isn't it?.. Well to me, its because im the kind of person which takes rejection badly and somehow.. I knew it wasn't going to workout.. Its a curse you know, when you want to know something so badly but the only way of knowing the answer is to actually take a risk on your friendship and ask.. But no.. I was afraid.. Until now, Im not even sure if she knows.. Even with gossips spreading around, I guess she would take it as a joke or maybe not.. I really wonder is it too late?..

Really sad..

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I really sorry guys if you all find this very negative.. But today I felt like blogging everything out so I wouldn't have to keep it inside of me anymore.. There are lots more to be typed but I'll have to remember them first..

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Then there was my best friend.. Who actually knew that slowly.. I started to develop feelings for this person.. Well sounds like movie part right? Yeah I kinda agree too.. But this time I actually took the risk.. By telling this person how I felt.. And all I did was told this person my feelings and not ask for anything, people tell me im weird but heck its not something for them to decide.. But in the end.. Nothing happened.. It was a one sided thing as this person could never see me as anything more then a friend or best friend..

With all the recent issues that arose.. We argued a lot.. And now?..

Well time will tell sooner or later..

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Today I went out with a friend to pyramid and I told her everything that has happened.. And she actually slapped some sense into me which was very true.. I do have to get a grip on myself and move on.. "If you truly love something, you should set it free.."

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My life as I know is like this....

This tree..

Thats all for today.. Rather Tired..

Cheers,

Ivan.K

A lil something positive..

You know? Balance =)

Instructions :~

a)Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc on shuffle.
b)For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
c)YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN, NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
d)Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
e)Put this on your blog.

1.If someone says,"Is this okay?"

My best friend.(So its ok?)

2. How would you describe yourself?

I love to be with you.(Oh yeah I would xD)

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?

Somewhere over the rainbow. (Hard to search)

4. How do you feel today?

Yeah!! *Usher* (Well.. YEAH!!)

5. What is your life's purpose?

你最近还好吗..( I guess Im alright?)

6. What is your motto?

Together Again (Yes.. Agreed =D )

7. What do your friends think of you?

Arigatou (Thank you for...?)

8. What do you think of your parents?

Januari ( Months o.O )

9. What do you think about very often?

Do you remember (Apprently I do xD)

10. What is 2+2?

Time of Our life (Gosh I could I forgot that?)

11. What do you think of your best friend?

Shawty get loose (Yeah she should =x)

12. What do you think of the person you like?

Kiss me (WOAHHHH PERFECT SONG)

13. What is your life?

Bei Pan (Okaaaaay.. this is sad..)

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Damn Girl (Blur..)

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?

Sorry (You know.. I might =x)

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?

Bei Ji Xing De Yan Lei (Hmm.. Maybe sing perhaps?)

17. What will they play at your funeral?

Always be my baby (This is wrong...)

18. What is your hobby/interest?

Endless Love (I truly wish... xD)

19. What is your biggest fear?

Low (Im more afraid of "high" ahahaha)

20. What is your biggest secret?

Ai Wo Hai Shi Ta (I love....)

21. What do you think of your friends?

True (Soooooo true!!!)

22. What will you post this as?

Stab my back (Ouch.. )

23. What song would you play during your first time having sex?

Picture Perfect ( Gotta love this song xD )

Kinda fun. haha. Hope you'll enjoy (: because you've just been tagged!

I just hate...

Certain "types" of people.. And even more if they're invlove in my life.. Who are they you ask?

Right now.. I can't really explain it or put it into words.. Its just the ARGHHHHH!!!! #Q@^ !@ feeling.. But more or less its more like people who resent me based on the time/mood/people around me.. Why can't the people that hate me, just hate me and don't pretend to be my friend in the open? And my real friends treat me like a friend and not anything else? This is really a twisted world to me..

Recently I've been noticing, my intrest in my studies is dropping.. I feel so diffrent now.. I wonder is it the people i mix with? Or its just a roller coaster, it comes and goes? Either way its affecting my life.. And its just not right..

I used to care for everything in the world even to the smallest detail but now? I wish the world just ended when Im in a situation.. Its like.. The responsible part of me, the caring part is all gone.. Or almost gone.. I have so much emotions in me, you can name it from happy to sad, and maybe even mad..

Someone I know, irritates me a lot but I used to tolerate everything.. Back then I could.. Its just maybe I thought the person could actually understand me.. At times I actually do believe, and at times I know the person is just plain blur.. And recently I just don't know why.. I just can't be myself around this person.. I sincerely don't want anything to get worser.. And yet for this person to change spontaniously.. Or even change at all.. Just more considerate.. Some say im "small gas" which im not denying that im not.. But theres only so much one can take..

And now I ask my self why? Why is it like this? Perhaps I feel so.. unfair? I would go to the ends of the world for my friends and the least I would ever expect is a simple thank you.. Or a grattitude of appreciation.. Granted, some actually do.. But would they go to the ends of the world for me? That.. I wish... However.. I've yet to see that happening..

I realised something I've forgotten all along as I am writing this last paragraph.. This whole post may be pointless after I type this one phrase.. "People change in time, there's nothing in this world you can do to stop it.."

I guess people change and I have not.. I feel confused yet enlighted.. Makes no sense? Well to me it doesn't either.. But its the way it is..

Hope everything works out.. Waiting to smile once again..
Cheers,
Ivan.K

Sorry Guys

Really sorry to whoever my loyal readers are, I've been so busy lately and have no time to even stare at the computer. Lemme briefly blog what happened since the last time i blogged..

~I celebrated by school teachers birthday, with all my school friends. It was really nice and fun as it was a big suprise.. I even made friends back again with someone.. Relief~

~I went Chiong-K with Jackie,Cole,Goon Ee,Sonia and Collie last friday.. Gosh sang till no more breath.. Even now my throat hurts a LOT!!! Maybe will do that again this coming friday? Ahaha

~Went Out with Collie and Elena to TimeSquare.. Giler Shopping from 11.30am~10.30pm.. Crazy eh? I even played a basketball match there, 100 plus road show thingy, It was fun but i kinda realise how much I suck at basketball now... Haha..

~Recently I had this weird but exciting dream.. Regarding someone I know.. Roughly it was about me and someone. It seems she was leaving in the dream and the whole dream i felt like there was a timer where ever i looked. So in there, I actually tried my best to tell her not to leave and so-on like.. Err... A lot la.. Its much more interesting than this, I SWEAR.. Its just that I have not much time to think about it.. In the end of the dream I was kinda too late and I sorta lost her.. Sad huh?

~ And today... OMG la... I read something I wasnt suppose too.. I feel so bad now but I do keep wondering who is she refering too? Curiosity killing me inside.. Gosh... I want to ask her.. But If really me how? Argh... Maybe I just shouldn't know.. Haha =x

Thats All From Me~
Till when Im free~
Ivan.K

Why....!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its 2 in the morning and yet this feeling just won't go away..I thought if i expressed it in a poem it would just go there and be gone.. but no. Im not myself these past few days.. I feel like im someone else.. Someone I never wanna become.. But it just happened..

I feel so negative inside of me.. Like life already cease to exist from my eyes.. Could it be because im torn between two countries? Or just is it im still battling the demons within me?.. Or something even more recent.. The feelings that I had to discard away.. Perhaps, Im lying to myself that im fine.. Im ok.. I can make it..

BUT I know I can make it.. I know I will not give up.. But even though.. I am only human.. I fall.. but, I will stand again stronger.. I hope this can still hold me back together as a whole heart and not shattered..

Ivan.K