I just hate...

Certain "types" of people.. And even more if they're invlove in my life.. Who are they you ask?

Right now.. I can't really explain it or put it into words.. Its just the ARGHHHHH!!!! #Q@^ !@ feeling.. But more or less its more like people who resent me based on the time/mood/people around me.. Why can't the people that hate me, just hate me and don't pretend to be my friend in the open? And my real friends treat me like a friend and not anything else? This is really a twisted world to me..

Recently I've been noticing, my intrest in my studies is dropping.. I feel so diffrent now.. I wonder is it the people i mix with? Or its just a roller coaster, it comes and goes? Either way its affecting my life.. And its just not right..

I used to care for everything in the world even to the smallest detail but now? I wish the world just ended when Im in a situation.. Its like.. The responsible part of me, the caring part is all gone.. Or almost gone.. I have so much emotions in me, you can name it from happy to sad, and maybe even mad..

Someone I know, irritates me a lot but I used to tolerate everything.. Back then I could.. Its just maybe I thought the person could actually understand me.. At times I actually do believe, and at times I know the person is just plain blur.. And recently I just don't know why.. I just can't be myself around this person.. I sincerely don't want anything to get worser.. And yet for this person to change spontaniously.. Or even change at all.. Just more considerate.. Some say im "small gas" which im not denying that im not.. But theres only so much one can take..

And now I ask my self why? Why is it like this? Perhaps I feel so.. unfair? I would go to the ends of the world for my friends and the least I would ever expect is a simple thank you.. Or a grattitude of appreciation.. Granted, some actually do.. But would they go to the ends of the world for me? That.. I wish... However.. I've yet to see that happening..

I realised something I've forgotten all along as I am writing this last paragraph.. This whole post may be pointless after I type this one phrase.. "People change in time, there's nothing in this world you can do to stop it.."

I guess people change and I have not.. I feel confused yet enlighted.. Makes no sense? Well to me it doesn't either.. But its the way it is..

Hope everything works out.. Waiting to smile once again..
Cheers,
Ivan.K