Untitled..

A lot has happened the last few days.. It got me confused and lost.. But somethings just have to change for the better i guess.. I will miss the good old days.. Even now, I still do..

I regreted though what I did in the past, what you say?

It all began in Term 1 of my collage.. Everything was fine, I made tons of friends and was really happy with my group.. Everything was perfect.. Thats where my fatal mistake took place.. I never really had a "gang" or "group" which I belonged to.. I was hopping here and there which was wrong but i did still.. Now I actually get my punishment for doing so.. I feel very lost and lonely in collage now.. Everyday I just wish class would end asap.. Because of some issues.. I can't be close with a few certain people anymore.. What have I left?

Nothing..

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I used to had feelings for this one person in collage.. But I never really had the courage to tell her how I felt.. Pathetic isn't it?.. Well to me, its because im the kind of person which takes rejection badly and somehow.. I knew it wasn't going to workout.. Its a curse you know, when you want to know something so badly but the only way of knowing the answer is to actually take a risk on your friendship and ask.. But no.. I was afraid.. Until now, Im not even sure if she knows.. Even with gossips spreading around, I guess she would take it as a joke or maybe not.. I really wonder is it too late?..

Really sad..

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I really sorry guys if you all find this very negative.. But today I felt like blogging everything out so I wouldn't have to keep it inside of me anymore.. There are lots more to be typed but I'll have to remember them first..

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Then there was my best friend.. Who actually knew that slowly.. I started to develop feelings for this person.. Well sounds like movie part right? Yeah I kinda agree too.. But this time I actually took the risk.. By telling this person how I felt.. And all I did was told this person my feelings and not ask for anything, people tell me im weird but heck its not something for them to decide.. But in the end.. Nothing happened.. It was a one sided thing as this person could never see me as anything more then a friend or best friend..

With all the recent issues that arose.. We argued a lot.. And now?..

Well time will tell sooner or later..

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Today I went out with a friend to pyramid and I told her everything that has happened.. And she actually slapped some sense into me which was very true.. I do have to get a grip on myself and move on.. "If you truly love something, you should set it free.."

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My life as I know is like this....

This tree..

Thats all for today.. Rather Tired..

Cheers,

Ivan.K